Morning Musings
by Amber Newman
Summary: Catherine is getting ready for the day and totally unaware of a conversation Below that is about her.


Morning Musings

She sat in front of her dressing mirror and combed her shoulder length golden brown hair. One, two, three and all the way to the count of one hundred strokes she drew the brush through her locks. The light reflected golden and amber highlights as she fluffed her hair out and the waves and ripples settled at her shoulders and perfectly framed her oval shaped face. She reached for a tube of lipstick and put it back deciding that she looked better without it. She did pinch the apples of her cheeks for a bit of a natural blush. Her eyes sparkled with laughter and love, her mouth settled into a soft smile, and her hair was a golden crown to complete her regal beauty. No princess could have looked as lovely or as angel-like as she appeared.

He just finished eating his favorite breakfast of hot oats sweetened with honey and one of Mary's famous blue berry muffins. A steaming hot cup of tea was sitting next to his right hand, while his left hand was slowly and thoughtfully stroking his golden mane. "Cream? Sugar? Or a penny for your thoughts?" quietly asked Mary as she saw him staring off, a faraway look in his eye, and his heart thinking of her.

"Huh?" he said, a little startled when he realized he had been daydreaming and didn't hear what Mary had asked.

"I wanted to know if you wanted cream or sugar for your tea or if I can offer you a small monetary bribe for your thoughts." She smiled at him and patted his hand in a caring, motherly fashion.

"I was thinking of…" he started to say and then faltered at the end. His sentence ending is silence full of meaning and desire.

"…Catherine?" Mary guessed the name of the one person who was always on Vincent's mind because they shared a special bound that allowed them to always be tuned into each other's hearts and minds.

He sighed, took a deep breath and replied, "Yes, although I don't understand why I do not give up. The logical part of my brain tells me that she would be better off with someone like herself. Someone who can openly walk the streets above, strolling arm in arm on the sidewalks, take her to the opera, the theatre, and not fear. We have but a few stolen moments in the night and must bid farewell as the sun threatens to rise due to fear of being discovered. Yet, I can no sooner give her up than stop breathing. She seems to have settled into a very part of my own soul. It would rend me in half to give her up but I cannot bear the thought of her coming down Below and only living half the life she was meant to live…to the life she is living Above. If only, Mary, my outward appearance were that of a normal man."

"Perhaps you wear on the outside what most great men have within. Courage, strength, valor, and a regal dignity. We do not know who your parents were or how you came to look the way you do – but we do know you and know you are capable of great love, great joy, and, yes, great sorrow with the ability to overcome it. There is no man, Above or Below, that I have ever spoken with that can compare to you, Vincent, your heart has such a great capacity for love and acceptance of others, yet you do not accept yourself and do not accept your own right for love and happiness. Why do you deserve no less? What have you ever done to make you worthy of this self-denial?" Mary asked with all the passion and love a mother feels towards her hurting child.

Vincent looked her in the eye, his own blue eyes were pools of torment and sadness, and wordlessly motioned to his face, his body, and finally held out his hands. He gestured to the fur, the claws, and his full, wild golden mane. "What right do I have? None based on appearances. What dark mischief has caused me to come into being? What of the dark side of me that threatens to take over if I do not keep careful control? I am darkness and she is light. The two simply cannot exist in one time, one space, or one life. I cannot show my face Above without instilling great fear." He placed his face into the palms of his hands and tried to hold back great tears of pain and longing. If only but for one second he could give into his heart and go to Catherine. If but for one moment he could experience the full taste of love and joy. Perhaps that one moment would be enough to hold him for the rest of his life. It would light the darkened corridors and give light to his path. The thought brought a slight flicker of warmth to his heart and he knew, just hoped that perhaps it would be enough to warm the deepest parts of his frozen, slumbering heart.

A frozen, slumbering heart that started to thaw that fateful day, April 12th, 1986. The day that she awakened something inside of him, something that he never dare dreamed to feel: hope. A hope for more, a hope for love, and the gentle touch of someone who loved him and looked beyond the external. That was fine for a friendship but what of lifelong love? And children? He knew deep within his heart that she would make a wonderful mother and wife. Bringing his hands to his face, he felt the thick, wiry golden mane. With his index finger, he felt the sharp, pointy tip of his canine teeth and shook his head. It is a dream, just a beautiful impossible dream to imagine a life with Catherine Above or Below. He knew that she would willingly come below and spend the remainder of her days with him. He did not doubt her love for him was real and he did not doubt that she would come without hesitation or reserve but he also knew that a part of her would remain incomplete without children and a spouse that she could introduce to her family and friends. She would never complain, would never shed tears in his presence, but he knew deep down that their life together could never been more than a daydream.


End file.
